when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
