well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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