U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
