She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
