id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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