you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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