If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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