I think I can smell my own vagina right now
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
