No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
