I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
