You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The adults are the big ones right?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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