we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
