they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is Oprah even human
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize