So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
