After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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