Dual....:-)
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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