Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
