We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
