why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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