so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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