she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
