I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
