Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
