she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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