i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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