oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
