dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
