dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
