I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My vagina is officially offended.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
