I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
