So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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