Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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