everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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