Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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