This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
