I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize