if i can run in heels then i can drive
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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