Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
