Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
