Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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