It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
