Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
