just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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