My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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