he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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