Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
