PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
