either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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