is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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