You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
