Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize