I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize