I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
