so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
