I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
