Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
