you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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