Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Girls should come with a carfax report
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
